Fidgeting

I had a geometry teacher in the tenth standard who often asked us to stop fidgeting and focus on studying. This made me wonder, what is fidgeting? After some exploration, I concluded that fidgeting is something you do when you’re not enjoying what's transpiring at that moment. That explained the fidgeting in the geometry class.

Though as I grew up and developed a state of mind that loves to think, I decided to explore this question further. So, what is fidgeting? Before I start expounding, let me give you an example. When I’m done reading a book, I start reading another. When my brother is done watching a series, he starts another. Now, this habit of reading books and essentially philosophical and spiritual books gives me an intellectual image. On the contrary, my brother’s image is that of a guy who’s isn't serious about his future. But take a moment and think about this. Are we different? The truth is I simply have refined habits. I read books, play football and guitar to pass time, he watches series and plays PUBG. I don’t think we are different. We are the same. We are simply killing time. We have our ways to do it, but that’s exactly what we are doing.

Let me drop a bomb now. How many of you have gone out to meet a friend simply because you were alone or didn’t want to be alone? Maybe you met them and you had a great time, but can this continue? Sooner or later this company starts getting monotonous and tedious. After that as Jiddu Krishnamurti states it’s just mutual exploitation. I’ll exploit you and you exploit me.

So what am I saying? Meeting friends, watching series, playing PUBG, reading books, should we stop doing it? Well, no! But what I want to say is we shouldn't don’t do this to pass time or kill time. If you're doing an activity to kill time, you are fidgeting.

So why do we pass time? Why do we kill time? I think the answer is simple and some of you even might have seen this coming. Because we are scared of being alone. We are scared of being in our own company. The thought of being alone on a Sunday afternoon, doing nothing, frightens us. We are scared our brains will come up with thoughts that will create excruciating pain. And I’m not going to lie, this is what is going to happen. But be alone, be with your mind. Be aware of its functioning, of its thought process. When you pay attention, you will tap into a state of consciousness where your mind ceases to think. Does your mind cease to think? Bull shit! You might say. Well, try it.

Then in this state of consciousness, you don’t meet your friends or read a book or watch a series to kill time. I’ll end this blog with an excerpt from a Kahlil Gibran poem :

For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
Seek him always with hours to live.
For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.